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Plan ahead and be gentle with yourself. Many people find it helps to decide in advance how you'll spend the day—whether that's visiting her grave, spending time with family who understand, or avoiding triggers like card shops and social media. The first Mother's Day is often the hardest, but it does become more manageable with time.
Mother's Day (Mothering Sunday in the UK) can feel unbearable when the person you'd normally celebrate is gone. The card shop displays, the adverts, the social media posts—they're inescapable, and they hurt. This guide offers practical strategies for getting through the day, plus information about UK support services that can help.
Mother's Day after losing your mum is particularly difficult because:
The first Mother's Day after your mum dies is often the hardest. Many people describe feeling like the world is celebrating something precious you've lost, and you're expected to just carry on as normal.
There is no "right" way to handle this day.
Some people find comfort in visiting the cemetery or memorial garden. Others prefer to spend time with family or friends who knew their mum. Still others find it easier to treat it like any other Sunday. What matters is what feels bearable for you.
These strategies come from people who've survived Mother's Day after losing their mum. Not all will suit everyone, but many people find at least one or two helpful.
Many bereaved sons and daughters find that having a plan makes the day more manageable. Without a plan, you might spend Mother's Day anxiously wondering how you'll feel or what you'll do.
Consider planning to:
From someone who lost their mum, age 33:
"The first Mother's Day, I made sure I wasn't on my own. My sister and I went to Mum's grave in the morning with flowers, then we spent the afternoon at her house going through old photo albums. We cried a lot but it was good to be together. By the third year, I was okay being on my own—I went for a long walk in the countryside where we used to go when I was a kid."
You can't avoid everything, but you can reduce exposure to things that will make the day harder:
Some people feel guilty about "hiding" from the day, but there's no shame in protecting yourself from unnecessary pain. You're not being weak—you're being sensible.
After the first year or two, some people find comfort in creating new Mother's Day traditions that honour their mum without focusing entirely on what they've lost. This approach can also help when dealing with other difficult holidays throughout the year:
From someone who lost their mother, age 47:
"The first Mother's Day I couldn't face doing anything. By the fourth year, I started a new tradition. Every Mother's Day morning, I bake her recipe for scones—the ones she used to make for Sunday tea. I take some to the cemetery and eat the rest at home with proper jam and cream. It feels like a way of keeping her close. I actually look forward to it now, in a bittersweet way."
Mother's Day is hard because it is hard. You don't need to be brave, strong, or positive. If you need to cry, cry. If you feel angry at the unfairness of it, that's completely understandable. If you want to stay in bed and ignore the day entirely, that's okay too.
Many people feel guilty for struggling on Mother's Day, especially if it's been several years since their mum died. But grief doesn't follow a timetable. Certain days will always be harder than others, and Mother's Day is one of them. If you're also managing your parent's estate, these emotional challenges can feel even more overwhelming.
These organisations provide free support for people who've lost a parent. All are staffed by trained bereavement counsellors who understand what you're going through.
The UK's largest bereavement charity, offering one-to-one support, group support, and a helpline. They provide services for anyone who has experienced bereavement, including adult children who've lost a parent.
Provides bereavement counselling, online support groups, and telephone support. They offer both short-term and longer-term support for anyone who has been bereaved, including those who've lost a parent.
Connects bereaved people with appropriate support services and provides a directory of bereavement support organisations across the UK. They can help you find local support groups and counselling services.
Many areas have local bereavement support groups that meet regularly. These provide a chance to speak to others who understand what you're going through. Ask your GP, search online for "bereavement support [your area]", or contact Cruse or The Good Grief Trust for information about local services.
These anonymous quotes are from people who've experienced Mother's Day after losing their mum:
"I thought I'd prepared myself, but walking past the Mother's Day display in Sainsbury's absolutely broke me. All those cards saying 'To the best mum in the world' and I couldn't even buy one. I ended up leaving my trolley and going home. I did the shopping online for weeks after that."
— Lost mother age 29, first Mother's Day
"My siblings and I started a tradition. Every Mother's Day we meet at Mum's grave in the morning with daffodils (her favourite), then we go to the pub she loved for Sunday lunch. We tell stories about her and have a proper laugh remembering the daft things she used to do. It's sad but it's also lovely. She'd have liked it."
— Lost mother age 41, five years on
"By year six, I actually forgot it was Mother's Day until someone at work mentioned it. For a second I thought 'Oh I need to get Mum a card' and then I remembered. It was strange but also a relief—the first sign that maybe the grief was becoming part of normal life rather than dominating everything."
— Lost mother age 38, six years on
On difficult days like Mother's Day, basic self-care becomes even more important:
Call Samaritans immediately on 116 123 (free, 24 hours a day, 365 days a year). You can also text SHOUT to 85258 to contact the Shout Crisis Text Line. These services are specifically for people in crisis, and they will listen without judgement. You don't have to face this alone.
The first Mother's Day after losing your mum is almost always the hardest. The second can also be very difficult, sometimes harder than the first because the shock has worn off and the permanence of the loss feels more real. But by the third or fourth year, most people report that Mother's Day becomes more manageable.
"More manageable" doesn't mean you won't feel sad. It doesn't mean you'll forget your mum or stop wishing she was here. It means the sharp, overwhelming pain becomes something more bearable—a sadness you can live with rather than one that stops you functioning.
You will survive this day. And next year, it will likely be a little easier. And the year after that, easier still. You're not forgetting her or moving on—you're learning to live with the loss, which is what she would want for you.
If you're reading this because your mum is terminally ill and you know this might be your last Mother's Day with her, this section is for you.
Make this Mother's Day meaningful if you can. You don't need grand gestures—what matters is time together and letting her know she's loved:
It's okay if the day is difficult. It's okay if you cry. It's okay if you can't find the right words. Just being there is enough.
If Mother's Day is bringing up difficult feelings, please reach out to one of the support services listed in this guide. They exist specifically to help people like you, and there is no shame in asking for support.
You don't have to face this day—or any day—alone.
Plan the day in advance so you're not left wondering what to do. Many people find it helps to visit their mum's grave, spend time with family who understand, or keep busy with meaningful activities. Avoid triggers like card shops and social media on the day itself. Allow yourself to grieve without guilt—this is a genuinely difficult day and it's okay to find it hard.
For most people, yes. The first Mother's Day is often extremely difficult because it's the first time experiencing the day without your mum. However, some people report the second year being harder because the shock has worn off and the permanence of the loss feels more real. By the third or fourth year, most people find the day becomes more manageable.
In the UK, Mothering Sunday falls on Sunday 16th March 2026. It's always the fourth Sunday in Lent, which means the date changes each year. The marketing and card shop displays typically start appearing in late February.
Yes, many bereaved sons and daughters find it helpful to avoid social media on Mother's Day. Platforms like Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter will be full of tribute posts, photos of people with their mums, and 'Happy Mother's Day' messages, which can be very triggering when you're grieving. There's no shame in protecting yourself from unnecessary pain by staying offline for the day.
Cruse Bereavement Support offers a helpline (0808 808 1677) and one-to-one support. Sue Ryder provides online support groups and counselling. The Good Grief Trust (0800 802 0111) can connect you with local bereavement services. Many areas also have local bereavement support groups—ask your GP for information about services in your area.
After the first year or two, some people find comfort in creating new Mother's Day traditions: taking her favourite flowers to her grave, making a donation to a meaningful charity, cooking one of her signature dishes, doing an activity she loved, or gathering with siblings to share memories. Choose whatever feels right for you.
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